What is grooming?
Grooming is the process an abuser uses to build trust with a child so they can exploit them. Online, it can happen on any app where a child can talk to a stranger — games, social media, chat apps, even comment sections.
It rarely looks like what people expect.
Most people picture grooming as a single shocking moment. In reality, it's usually slow, friendly, and patient. The abuser doesn't open with anything alarming — they open with kindness, attention, and shared interests. The goal is to become someone the child looks forward to talking to.
By the time anything inappropriate happens, the child often feels they have a relationship to protect. That's what makes grooming so hard to spot from the outside, and so hard for children to report.
How it usually unfolds
Grooming tends to move through recognizable stages. Knowing them is the first step to interrupting them.
Targeting
The abuser looks for children who seem lonely, curious, or unsupervised — often through public profiles, game lobbies, or comments.
Trust building
They share interests, give compliments, send small gifts (in-game items, gift cards), and become a reliable, exciting presence.
Isolation
The conversation moves to a private app. The child is encouraged to keep the friendship secret from parents or friends.
Exploitation
Requests for photos, video, or in-person meetings begin. Threats or guilt are often used to keep the child silent.
Warning signs to watch for
No single sign confirms grooming, but a combination is worth a closer look.
Secrecy about who they're talking to online
Hiding screens, switching apps when you walk in, or refusing to say who a new friend is.
New gifts, money, or game items
Especially from someone the child can't fully explain or has never met in person.
A noticeably older "best friend" online
Adults intensely invested in a child's day-to-day life rarely have an innocent reason for it.
Sudden mood swings or withdrawal
Especially anxiety after using a particular app, or distress when devices are taken away.
Language or knowledge beyond their age
Sexual terms, references, or "inside jokes" they wouldn't have picked up from peers.
A push to move to a private app
Conversations that quickly migrate off the original platform to encrypted or disappearing-message apps.
Catching grooming earlier, at scale.
Most grooming is invisible to platforms until it's already escalated. Our flagship system, Aletheia, detects the patterns of grooming conversations as they happen — not after a child has already been harmed.
Validated cases are routed to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) within 24 hours, giving investigators time to act before exploitation deepens.
Help us get there faster.
Every dollar funds detection coverage for more conversations, more platforms, and more children who shouldn't have to navigate this alone.