A guide for educators and youth workers

Schools and youth programs are frequently where a disclosure first lands, because a trusted adult outside the home is often the safest person for a child to tell. What happens in the first few minutes after that shapes both the child's recovery and whether the case can be investigated at all.

The first five minutes

A child who has decided to tell you is usually testing whether it is safe to continue. They will often open with something small and oblique and watch your reaction before giving you the real thing.

1. Stay level. Visible shock or anger reads to a child as confirmation that they have done something unforgivable.
2. Let them talk without steering. Open prompts only: "Can you tell me more about that?" or "What happened next?"
3. Do not ask leading questions. Naming a suspect, suggesting an act, or asking "did he do X to you?" can contaminate the account and make it unusable as evidence. Your job is to receive a disclosure, not to investigate one.
4. Do not promise confidentiality. Say instead: "I am glad you told me. I have to tell someone whose job it is to help, and I will tell you who that is."
5. Write it down immediately afterward, in the child's own words as closely as you can manage, with the date, time, location and who was present. Do not paraphrase into clinical language.

What not to do

• Do not interview the child. Forensic interviewing is a trained discipline, and a well-meaning adult asking repeated questions can compromise a prosecution.
• Do not contact the suspected offender. That applies even if they are a student, a parent, or a colleague.
• Do not contact the family first if a family member may be involved. Follow your safeguarding procedure, which exists for exactly this case.
• Do not view, download, forward or save suspected illegal images, including to "verify" or "preserve" them. Document that they exist and where, then hand it to the appropriate authority.
• Do not wait to be certain. Reasonable suspicion is the standard, and the agencies receiving these reports expect uncertainty.

What online grooming looks like in a school setting

You are positioned to see things a parent cannot, particularly changes that happen across a group rather than within one family.

• A student with new, unexplained items: a phone, a device, gift cards, in-game currency being given to other students.
• Sudden withdrawal from a friendship group, or an abrupt change in who they sit with.
• Falling asleep in class, which is one of the more reliable physical signs, because contact frequently happens overnight.
• Sexual language, knowledge or drawing that is out of step with their age.
• A student protecting an older "friend" they will not identify.
• Several students referencing the same online adult.

Building this into your program, before you need it

1. Name a safeguarding lead and make sure every adult, including volunteers and coaches, knows who it is without having to ask.
2. Put the reporting procedure in writing and keep it to one page, including the CyberTipline number and your state's child abuse hotline.
3. Train the whole adult population, not only counselors. Disclosures land with the adult the child trusts, which is often a bus driver, a coach or a librarian.
4. Set a clear rule on adult-student private messaging. Communication should happen on monitored, organization-controlled channels. Most institutional safeguarding failures begin with a private channel that was allowed because it was convenient.
5. Rehearse it once a year. A five-minute tabletop walkthrough of a realistic disclosure is worth more than an hour of policy reading.

Where to report

• Your state child abuse hotline, and your organization's safeguarding lead, per your mandated reporter duty.
• NCMEC CyberTipline, at report.cybertip.org or 1-800-843-5678, for online exploitation.
• Local law enforcement, where there is any indication of local contact or an attempt to meet.

If you are putting materials together for staff or families, everything in this Education Center is free to print, copy and distribute. You do not need to ask us, and attribution is welcome but not required.